I love the new year and the hopeful feeling of positive change it brings. But setting big New Year’s “resolutions” about all the changes I need to make can make me feel beat down before the year even begins.
So I do something different.
First, I reflect on the past year. Then I think about what I want to keep doing and how I want to be better. (Not “perfect,” just better.)
Here’s how I do it.
1 – Grab a cute journal, your favorite pens, and a favorite beverage. You’re going to use four reflection questions and make some lists. I like using a new journal for this reflection.
2 – Write question one in your journal: What did I do well in my personal life, my job, and my daily routine?
Then start writing. Don’t censor yourself – just write everything that comes to mind. If you’re proud of something but you still want to work on it, put a star or some symbol beside it. And speaking of being proud – brag on yourself, even for the little things!
Feeling stuck? Look back through last year’s planner or calendar. Look back at photos on your phone. That will help inspire you with all of the good things that happened.
Ask yourself, “what else?” until you truly cannot think of one more thing.
3 – Move on to question two: What are the good things I did in other areas of my life? (This might be with friends, hobbies, church or community involvement, extended family, etc.)
Write down everything that comes to mind. Use your planner, calendar, or photos on your phone. Again – brag on yourself and be proud of all the good things you did well or did somewhat consistently. Ask yourself, “what else?” until you can’t think of anything.
4 – Now, move on to question three: What do I want more of in my life?
Again – write it all down without judgment. Use your planner, calendar, or photos on your phone to jog your memory.
Here are some examples. Do you want to leave school earlier every day? Do you want to schedule a weekly or bi-weekly date night? How about hobbies such as reading more books or registering for a course? Do you want to try a new workout routine? You get the idea. What are some things that will add value to your life?
5 – Finally, answer question four: What do I want less of in my life?
Use the same tips for coming up with ideas.
Here are some examples. Do you want to set time limits for doing school tasks? Do you want to cook less and use a meal prep service instead? Do you want to limit your spending on Amazon? Do you want to spend less time mindlessly scrolling social media? What do you want to spend less time doing?
What are the benefits of this process?
*The process of reflecting helps you pay attention to all of the many ways you are doing well. Knowing that you can do hard things or that you can be consistent with your habits inspires you to do and be even better in the future.
Think about how you praise children. When they get your positive attention, they tend to want to do even better (or keep up the good work). You will feel the same when you see all the many ways you ARE doing well.
*Writing things down supports that process of reflection. The process of writing (not typing, but actually writing by hand) focuses your brain. When you write things down, your brain gets the signal that “this is important”. This helps you get motivated and prepared to take some kind of action. It also helps you to focus and clarify what really matters to you.
6 – Make a list of 100 dreams. I learned about this from Laura Vanderkam’s book 168 Hours.
Here is her description of how to make that list from her blog post:
This is a completely un-edited list of anything one might want to do, have, or spend more time on in life.
These could be travel goals, career goals, personal goals, or just general things that would be fun to do or possess. While plenty of people start a bucket list at some point, the upside of aiming for 100 Dreams is that it’s kind of . . . tough. Getting to 100 often requires coming back to the list several times. And while the first third or so tend to be big, long-term dreams (go to New Zealand!) by the last third it might be items like visiting a state park an hour away, writing a white paper on a topic that fascinates you, or owning a nice pair of pajamas. We’re talking fairly doable dreams.
I’m still working on my own list! I would love to hear your ideas.
7 – Last suggestion: even though I don’t make resolutions in the traditional sense, I do love to see lists of other resolutions to add to my “what do I want more of” and “what do I want less of” lists. Here is a list of 35 possible resolutions from the TODAY Show. See if any of these ideas resonate with you!
I would love to hear about your lists and ideas! Email me at stillteachingstilllearning@gmail.com if you want to share.
Happy New Year!
