If you’ve ever tried to implement big changes in your life (get in shape, pay off debt, organize your entire house, etc.), you know that it gets overwhelming to make these changes when regular life gets in the way.
There is nothing wrong with setting these big goals. All of them seem important. All of them may even need to be done. However, when we set out to change everything at once, it rarely works. We get overwhelmed either by the number of tasks we need to do or by the difficulty of incorporating all the new changes. So we end up falling back to our old comfort zone and feeling worse about ourselves and our inability to meet goals.
There are a couple of things I have done wrong with this process, and I wonder if the same is true of you:
1 – I tried to change too many things at once.
2 – I tried to make big changes in one area all at once.
But what if we focus on making small changes? What if we work on achieving just ONE goal at a time? And what if we did something small toward that one goal every single day? Something super small and do-able? Would we still meet the goal? Yes, it might take longer, but when you look back at your progress it won’t seem as if it took so long after all.
Three books have really shaped my thinking about this idea: The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, Atomic Habits by James Clear, and The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.
In this post, I’m going to share some of my takeaways about making small changes from James Clear’s book.
See my post about small changes that lead to big results with The 5-Second Rule here.
ATOMIC HABITS by James Clear
*According to James, there are three levels of change:
1 – changing your outcomes (most goals we set are related to this). Examples: decluttering a closet, losing weight, writing a book.
2 – changing your process, which means changing your habits and systems (most habits we build are related to this). Examples: starting a new workout routine, decluttering your desk and files to be more efficient at work, developing a meditation practice.
3 – changing your identity, which means changing your beliefs about yourself.
According to James:
“The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.”
That is what builds your motivation to maintain the habits.
*There is science behind the way habits work which can help us change our habits or develop new habits. The habit feedback loop goes like this: cue, craving, response, reward. Using that habit feedback loop, here is how to create a good habit: make it obvious, make it attractive, make it easy, and make it satisfying. Using that habit feedback loop, here is how to break a bad habit: make it invisible, make it unattractive, make it difficult, and make it unsatisfying.
“All behavior is driven by the desire to solve a problem.”
*The first law is to make it obvious. Here’s how to do that.
1 – make a specific plan for what you will do when. James uses the template: I WILL (BEHAVIOR) AT (TIME) IN (LOCATION). For example: I will listen to a business podcast for twenty minutes at 5 p.m. on my commute home. I will exercise for 15 minutes at 6 a.m. in my family room. I will tell my partner I love them at 8 a.m. before leaving for work.
2 – you can also “stack” your habit by connecting it with something you are already doing. James uses the template: AFTER (CURRENT HABIT), I WILL (NEW HABIT). For example: After pouring my cup of coffee, I will meditate for three minutes. After I eat dinner, I will pack my lunch for tomorrow. After coming home in the afternoon, I will say one thing that I am grateful for that happened today.
3 – after you create a small habit stack, you can create a larger stack. For example: After pouring my cup of coffee, I will meditate for three minutes. After meditating for three minutes, I will write my goals and plans for the day. After I write my goals and plans for the day, I will begin work on my first task.
4 – another way to use a habit stack is with a visual reminder or a cue. The cue needs to be something that happens as often as your desired behavior. For example: When I want to purchase something over $100, I will wait 24 hours before purchasing. When I serve myself a meal, I will fill my plate with veggies first.
5 – speaking of cues, you can design your environment to make the cue more obvious. For example: if you want to take vitamins in the morning, leave the bottle beside your bathroom sink. If you want to write more letters, leave the stationery on your desk or table.
*I love how James also describes how to break a bad habit by “inverting” the laws. So to invert the first law of “make it obvious”, you can make your bad habit invisible by removing it from your environment. An obvious example of this would be to not buy ice cream or cookies if you want to cut down on eating sugar.
*The second law is to make it attractive. Here’s how to do that:
1 – use temptation bundling by linking an activity you want to do with an activity you need to do. Here is James’s template: After CURRENT HABIT, I will HABIT I NEED. After HABIT I NEED, I will HABIT I WANT. For example, if you want to check social media in the morning, but you need to get started on your first important task for the day: After I get my morning coffee, I will write for 15 minutes. After I write for 15 minutes, I will check social media.
*The inversion of the second law is to make it unattractive. One key tip here is to focus on the benefits of avoiding your bad habits and reframe your thinking. For example: instead of saying “I have to go work out”, you could say “I get to go work on making my body healthy and strong”. Instead of saying “I can’t eat any sugar”, say “I am making my body healthy and strong by eating protein and vegetables.”
*The third law is to make it easy. Here’s how to do that:
1 – remember that “the best is the enemy of the good.” There is a difference between motion and action. If I read lots of articles about workout plans, that’s motion. If I actually start a workout plan, that’s action. The point is to just get started (as Mel Robbins says: 5-4-3-2-1, remember?). You can always tweak along the way. James says that the key is to start with repetition, not perfection.
2 – habits form based on frequency, not time. In other words — frequency of practice matters more than how many days you do something.
3 – to make a new habit easy to do, break it down with James’s two-minute rule. Nearly any habit can be broken down into a two-minute version. For example:
“Read before bed each night” becomes “Read one page.”
“Do thirty minutes of yoga” becomes “Take out my yoga mat.”
“Fold the laundry” becomes “fold one shirt.”
This might sound ridiculous, but the point to make your habits as easy as possible to begin. You want the first two minutes to be super easy. It helps you master the art of just showing up and becomes the “gateway” or the ritual at the beginning of a bigger routine. This also helps build your identity as a reader or a yogi or a laundry master, because everyone who identifies that way also has to do the first task that you are doing.
4 – after you have mastered the two-minute rule, you can start habit shaping to scale your habit up to your ultimate goal. After doing the beginning step, start advancing to a more intermediate step and master that before moving up to the next level. For example, if your goal is to become an early riser, here are your steps:
Step 1: Be home by 9 p.m. every night.
Step 2: Have all devices turned off by 9 p.m. every night.
Step 3: Be in bed by 9 p.m. every night.
Step 4: Lights off by 9 p.m. every night.
Step 5: Wake up at 5 a.m. every day.
*The inversion of the third law is to make it difficult! One way is to use a commitment device. A commitment device is something you do now that will control your actions in the future. Examples: logging out of all social media accounts before you sit down to work (so you would have to log back in to switch tabs and check it). Have the waiter box up half your restaurant meal before you start eating. Pay for a class or a coaching session in advance so you have to show up.
*You can also automate some habits, such as getting prescriptions automatically refilled, making automatic payments to a retirement account, or using a meal delivery service to ensure healthier meals.
*The fourth law is to make it satisfying. Here’s how to do that:
1 – James says that the Cardinal Rule of Behavior Change is this: What is rewarded is repeated. What is punished is avoided. He goes on to say that what is immediately rewarded is repeated. So the best way to work with your own human nature is to add a little bit of immediate pleasure to the habits that pay off in the long run and a little bit of immediate pain to those that don’t.
2 – Doing simple things to make something immediately enjoyable is key. Rewarding yourself with a small purchase for working out daily or avoiding a certain food daily would work. Getting a massage, taking a bubble bath, eating a bowl of ice cream — any of these could be rewards. But you want to match your reward with your desired identity. For instance: if your desired identity is to be a healthy eater, maybe that bowl of ice cream would not be a good reward. If your desired identity is to be someone who is sticking to their budget and saving money, then making a small purchase would not be a good reward.
3 – One of my personal favorite strategies that James describes is what he calls the Paper Clip strategy, or what other people call a habit tracker. This one totally works for me. This is where you track your habits so that you see clear evidence that you are making progress. This could be moving a paper clip from one jar to another each time you do something toward a goal. Or you could put X’s on a calendar. Or keep track of the total time you have spent working on a task or going to the gym.
*Technology can do some of this for you. Your Fitbit or Apple Watch tracks your steps or your sleep, for instance.
*You don’t need to track 50,000 habits. Choose a few habits that you are working toward and that you are trying to make a consistent part of your life.
*It helps to track your habit immediately after you complete it. Track your workout, write down your time spent working on a goal, record your food in a food journal.
4 – One of the many things I love about this book is how “real” James is and how he gives suggestions for when you mess up. Habits will break down from time to time. Here is James’s rule for when that happens: never miss twice. The key is to get back to the habit as quickly as possible. It’s valuable to just show up, even on your bad or busy days. Simply doing something is huge. This helps build your identity as someone who doesn’t miss ______.
5 – To make a habit unsatisfying, try making a habit contract with an accountability partner. When we get someone else to help hold us accountable for keeping our desired habit, it motivates us. Some examples of this: a workout partner, texting your accountability partner when you finish your goal task for the day, recording your eating plan macros and sharing that with a partner or weight loss group.
A final takeaway is how to stay focused when you get bored working on your goals. James tells a great story about talking to an elite sports coach. He asked the coach:
“‘What’s the difference between the best athletes and everyone else?’ I asked. ‘What do the really successful people do that most don’t?’
“He mentioned the factors you might expect: genetics, luck, talent. But then he said something I wasn’t expecting: ‘At some point it comes down to who can handle the boredom of training every day, doing the same lifts over and over and over.’’”
Remember that these are just my notes and what has been helpful for me. There is a ton of other helpful information in James’s book, which I highly recommend. Let me know what you think of his book and what is helpful for you!
