The end of a month is a good time for reviewing goals and any resolutions you might have set for the new year. For some people, this can be a depressing exercise as they see all the things that they did not get done. Don’t get down on yourself! Use the progress you’ve made (or the lack thereof) to set some new goals and to decide on your next steps!
Here are my 10 tips for reviewing goals and resolutions:
1 – read everything you wrote at the beginning of the month. See my post about setting goals here. Maybe it’s because I am a teacher, but I find that “grading” or “scoring” things gives me so much clear information about what is working well and what might need to change or be improved in some way. Try it – give yourself a rating of 1 – 3 on each goal. A 3 = you achieved that goal. A 2 = you are working on that goal and made some progress. A 1 = you didn’t do anything toward that goal.
2 – while giving each goal a rating, try very hard not to get down on yourself. No one can get everything done all the time. The idea here is to honestly assess your progress and to decide what is still most important to you and what might need to be saved for another time
Back to the teaching example — a student’s bad score on a test or assignment can be disheartening and frustrating. But that number is just a piece of data. Figuring out the story behind the data and reflecting on next steps is where you can begin to overcome that frustration and get some clarity about what to do next.
3 – if you got a 1 in anything, that is great, believe it or not! This is where you can learn and grow the most. The first thing to do with your scores of 1 is to truly evaluate whether or not that goal is still important to you. If not, drop it. It might have seemed like a good idea when you set the goal, but maybe it means nothing to you now. Just drop it. And drop the guilt about it.
4 – If you scored a 1 but the goal is still important to you, ask yourself two questions:
1 – would this goal be more appropriate to work toward at another time of the year? For instance, if your goal is to organize your closet, but January is a busy month for you at work or with your kids, maybe closet-organizing is not so important to do in January. Could you move that goal to some time in the spring or summer instead?
2 – what baby steps could you take toward that goal? Which brings me to tip #5.
5 – I have found that baby steps are the key. See my post about baby steps and time management here. It always seems like you are making no or very slow progress toward achieving a goal while you are taking those baby steps, but at the end of a week or a month, you will be amazed at how much you actually accomplished. To get back to that closet example — if you spend 5-10 minutes per day on organizing your closet, you will feel like it’s going to take forever. But those minutes add up and give you momentum for completing the task. If you spent 5 minutes just five a days a week, you would have put in 1 hour and 40 minutes by the end of the month. If you spent 10 minutes just five days a week, you would have put in 3 hours and 20 minutes. Finding those blocks of time in a busy schedule might have been near impossible, but 5-10 minutes is not impossible.
6 – back to the goals in which you scored a 1 — it’s time to seriously evaluate whether or not that goal is right for you. For instance, if your goal was to learn to speak Italian and you have done nothing toward that goal, ask yourself some questions:
Why do I want to learn to speak Italian?
How will it help me?
How will it help other people that I love?
Is this a goal that is possible for me to achieve right now?
Should I save this goal for another time of the year or another time in my life?
7 – If you decide that the goal is not right for you right now, but you still think it would be good to achieve it some day, put it on a “Someday” list. I keep a “Someday” list for lots of things — books I want to read, places I want to go, restaurants and stores I want to visit, recipes I want to try, etc. Add a category for goals you want to achieve!
You may decide that this goal just isn’t that important for you, so cut your losses and move on! I know I’ve said this before, but I am hereby giving you permission to just take it off your list and don’t feel guilty. There is never enough time to do everything. It’s so important to choose what really matters to you and the people you love, and to focus your time and energy on those goals.
8 – If the goal really is something that you want to achieve, it’s time to start thinking about those baby steps. What is one small thing you could do that would help you move toward that goal? Back to the learning to speak Italian example — here are some baby steps that would help:
Google “how to speak Italian” for websites, apps, programs, etc.
Check out Babbel and pricing
Google a site where you can listen to Italian speakers while reading the words on the screen (maybe while they are reading something?)
Ask friends or your Facebook community for ideas and resources — you never know who might be a great resource for helping you find other resources!
Get the idea? Make a list of small, easy to do tasks that could be done in 10-15 minutes. Then get started today. Do one task. Tomorrow, do another. For tasks like googling resources, know that this is a task that you might do daily for several days since you will find so many resources to check out. That’s okay. The object of the game here is to make daily, incremental progress toward learning to speak Italian, and finding resources will take some time.
9 – if you got a 2 in anything, that’s great too! This shows that you are making progress toward the goal. What can you continue to do to move toward achieving that goal? If your goal was to lose ten pounds, and you only lost eight, congratulations — you are on track! Think about what is working for you in achieving that goal and what you might want to change or improve.
10 – if you got a 3 in anything, that’s awesome! Is that goal something that can now be part of your routine and move off of the goals list? For instance, if your goal was to write morning pages every day, is this now just part of what you do in the morning? If so, it can move off the goals list because it is now part of your life.
Now take all of this information you’ve gathered on your goal progress and make a list of new goals for the next month! You might also list the baby steps you will take first toward each goal. Being able to cross those baby steps off your list as they are achieved builds momentum and helps you keep moving forward to achieving those goals!
It is almost the end of January and it’s a good time to review those goals and resolutions you set earlier this month. How are you doing? Feeling stuck? Unmotivated? Getting “unstuck” and moving on to achieving your goals is easier than you think. Here are 31 ways to get started! Try a different one every day or use them in whatever way appeals to you.
1 – set super small, easily achievable goals for the day that will move you toward those big gigantic goals you have set for the year. For example: if your goal is to lose ten pounds, think about what small goals will help you move toward weight loss? Eating more fruits and vegetables? Drinking more water? Trying intermittent fasting? Researching a new way of eating (such as Paleo or Keto)? Exercising for at least 15 minutes daily? Set one or two small, do-able goals for the day. It might seem like it will take you a million years to achieve your goal if this is all you’re doing daily, but think about this: small steps are better than no steps at all. When you feel ready to take on more, then you can add on!
2 – Speaking of small, do-able steps, try jotting down just three things that you need to do today. Just three. Try to choose the three things that are most important to complete today. When you have completed those three tasks, then you can add three more. Somehow, just keeping your immediate things-to-do list to three items is less overwhelming and gives you energy and motivation to get more done.
3 – Listen to music. I am a big fan of Spotify and I use different playlists for different tasks. If I need to concentrate and focus on some mental task, I use coffeehouse or spa type playlists that are instrumental only. If I need to be jump started to go work out after work, I listen to a playlist that is created for workouts.
4 – Read just 5 – 10 pages of a book that inspires or motivates you. Here are some of my favorites:
5 – List five things for which you are grateful. It can be something small, like your cat’s purring, or something huge, like good news from a medical test. Just write whatever comes to mind. I start every day with listing five things and I end every day with thinking about gratitude as I fall asleep. If you want something a little more formalized, try using the 5-Minute Journal or try Rachel Hollis’s Start Today journal which you can read more about here.
6 – Organize or declutter just one small area that is getting on your nerves. Very often, that would be my desk or work space. Sometimes it’s my purse, my kitchen counters, or my car. Just seeing things more orderly and efficient helps bring clarity to my mind. Read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up or watch “Tidying up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix for inspiration!
journal
7 – Make a list of what you want to be, do and have in your life. Don’t judge what you write — just write whatever comes to mind. Keep writing. When you think you are done, read over your list again and add more ideas as they come to you. What to do with that list? You could keep it in your planner or transfer it to your phone and read it every day. Or you might want to try making a vision board. This site explains the concept and shows you how to create a vision board online. Some people prefer to create their vision board using photos (from magazines or online images) and gluing them to a piece of cardboard or sturdy paper such as cardstock. Whatever appeals to you and inspires you!
8 – Take a look at your planner. Is it working for you and does it appeal to you? If the answer to either one of these questions is NO, consider getting a new one, even if it’s not the start of a new year. Your planner needs to be an important part of your life and something that helps and guides you, not something that gets on your nerves. See my post about time management here. Some planners that I like and have used are the Erin Condren planner and the Bloom daily planner. And of course you need Flair pens for your planner! See my post HERE about using your planner to help you better manage your time and to set goals.
9 – Do you write in a journal? Some people do this faithfully, every day. Other people write in a journal just occasionally. I have found that writing something daily works best for me. Get some kind of notebook, even an inexpensive one, and just start. When I read Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way, I started writing daily morning pages as she describes in the book. Here is a link to Julia’s explanation of this process. It is amazing what comes up when you are writing morning pages. It’s an inexpensive form of therapy! Morning pages do NOT have to be written in the morning only. Any time you are wrestling with lots of things on your mind and feeling stressed and unfocused, sitting down to write whatever comes to mind will help you get some clarity. See my post here about activities you can do for mental self-care.
10 – Do you exercise or workout a few times a week? If not, consider options for getting a routine started. Even if you cannot exercise daily, you should aim for 5-6 times per week. Anything you are doing that frequently needs to be a good fit for YOU. If you like to run, that’s great. If you don’t like to run, find something else that will be good for your cardiovascular health and do that. Also think about changing up your routine from time to time. Switch from working with weights to a barre fitness class. Switch from using cardio machines at the gym to walking or running or biking outdoors.
11 – Remember the goal setting from tip #1? Choose just one goal. Close your eyes and point if you’re having trouble deciding. Now think about doing just one thing that will move you closer to that goal. When you have accomplished that task, or if you have achieved that goal, choose something else.
12 – Buy yourself something new that is within your budget. A little “retail therapy” never hurt anybody — as long as it’s not something you will regret. Some ideas: new underwear, new pajamas, a new accessory like jewelry or a scarf, some object from the Target dollar spot. Anything that will make you smile or feel pampered, but didn’t exceed your budget (which will only cause more stress). See my Friday Favorites posts for ideas!
13 – Try some new habit or routine. Think about something that you have been wanting to try or wanting to incorporate into your life, and start small.
14 – Speaking of trying something new — how about learning something new? Use videos on youtube, take a course with Udemy, use Babbel to learn a new language, watch cooking shows on Food Network.
15 – Try meditation. Some good apps are Headspace and Calm. Both apps teach you some “techniques”, but do not make you feel as if you are doing meditation “wrong”. Just try sitting in silence for a few minutes every day. See how you feel and try adding on more time.
16 – Try some yoga poses. Yoga with Adrienne on youtube is a good resource, but you also might want to try going to a local class.
17 – Think about creating a productive self-care morning routine. See my post about that here.
18 – Think about creating a productive self-care evening routine. See my post about that here.
19 – Change up your environment in some way. Could you move a piece of furniture or rug to a different area and see how it looks? Could you buy some home accessory that is within your budget? Try a new lampshade? Check out Joanna Gaines’ new book Homebody for ideas!
20 – Make a list of places to go and things to do in your area. Make plans to visit or do one of those things with a friend or family member.
21 – Make a list of places you would like to go that are not in your area. Plan some dream trips!
22 – Drink half your bodyweight in ounces of water every day. Notice how this makes you feel.
23 – Try something new with your hair or makeup.
24 – Plan some meals or recipes you want to try.
25 – Start getting up earlier and spending some time outside, if the weather permits. Maybe take a morning walk or just enjoy sitting outside and appreciating the quiet?
26 – Make plans to visit someone you love.
27 – Listen to a motivating pep talk on youtube. Search for speeches by Rachel Hollis, Barbara Sher, Simon Sinek, Mel Robbins.
28 – Listen to a podcast. There are hundreds of good ones to choose from! Go to the search feature of your favorite place to get your podcasts (Apple, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify) and type in whatever category interests you. Find one or two podcasts to try, download them and listen while you’re commuting, walking, cleaning, whenever.
29 – Go someplace new. Try a different route to or from work and notice what you see. Try a different grocery store. Visit a small local business that you haven’t visited before. Go to a different Target or Walmart from the one you usually visit! Just doing some routine things in a new way gives you a new perspective and ideas for what you can do differently.
30 – Draw, color, paint, make a collage, try a craft, write a poem, play an instrument, sing. Do something artsy to wake up a different area of the brain and help change your perspective.
31 – Ask yourself some key questions — “what’s the lesson for me here?” “how could I make this fun?” “who can I surprise with appreciation today?”. Make a list of what comes to mind when you ask yourself these questions. Another prompt to try is to say, “This situation is good for me because . . .”
We all get “stuck” sometimes. Knowing how to get yourself “unstuck” and move on is the key. Did any of these tips resonate with you? Do you have other suggestions? I would love to hear your thoughts! Email me at stillteachingstilllearning@gmail.com!
Have you heard about the wellness wheel? To many people, “wellness” means being physically healthy or even being physically fit. However, the wellness wheel is made up of eight dimensions of wellness, all of which impact your health and well-being. The eight dimensions are: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, occupational, social, environmental, and financial.
Dr. Bill Hettler, co-founder of the National Wellness Institute in the U. S., created the wellness wheel in 1976. His wheel contained six dimensions: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, occupational and social. Other researchers added the environmental and financial aspects later. All of these dimensions impact one another. Feeling “off” in one dimension will eventually impact all the others, so it’s important to pay attention to all eight dimensions.
Feeling overwhelmed? It’s not as hard as it sounds, and if you are working to incorporate self-care into your life, you are probably doing many of these activities already!
Physical dimension – this includes getting physical activity, good nutrition and enough sleep. If you have physical wellness, you are doing some form of exercise daily (walking counts), eating healthy food 80% of the time, and striving to get 6 – 8 hours of sleep every night.
3 self-care tips for physical dimension:
*physical activity for at least 15 minutes once or twice daily — walking, yoga poses, HIIT workouts, calisthenics — whatever makes you feel best;
*drink half your body weight in ounces of water and eat 8 – 10 fruit/vegetable servings daily;
*go to bed 15 minutes earlier.
Emotional dimension – this involves your ability to cope with life stresses and your relationships with others. If you have emotional wellness, you feel confident in your ability to handle life’s challenges and you have a few good relationships with people that you love and who love you in return. Connecting with your senses and connecting with others improve your emotional wellness. Plan regular leisure time activities for yourself.
3 self-care tips for emotional wellness:
*listen to music that you love & light a scented candle;
*watch a sunrise, sunset, or some body of water;
*develop and follow routines that you love and that you look forward to doing.
Intellectual dimension – this means knowing your unique talents and the ways in which you use your knowledge and skills. If you have intellectual wellness, you are doing things that encourage your mental growth. This helps you to have better concentration and critical thinking skills.
3 tips for intellectual wellness:
*read anything that inspires you or makes you happy;
*play a musical instrument or try a new hobby;
*tutor or train someone else to do something.
Spiritual dimension – this dimension includes your values and beliefs and your sense that your life has meaning and purpose. If you have spiritual wellness, you have clear values and a feeling of inner peace.
3 tips for spiritual wellness:
*pray or meditate, or both;
*read the Bible or other inspirational books;
*connect with a church or other organization that is doing work that you believe in.
Occupational dimension — this involves your sense of satisfaction with your work. If you have occupational wellness, you are feeling at least somewhat balanced with work and leisure time, you are building relationships with co-workers and you manage your stress at work.
3 tips for occupational wellness:
*build relationships with your co-workers;
*identify what is meaningful in your work life – if you can’t find anything, make a plan for changing to a job that will fit your values and skills;
*follow self-care tips for managing workplace stress.
Social dimension — includes your sense of belonging and connection with other people in your life. If you have social wellness, you are spending time with people you love and making time for family and friends.
3 tips for social wellness:
*make plans for and schedule time with people you love (this includes family dinners if you’re a mom);
*join a club, a church or other organization;
*develop good communication skills where you are assertive in expressing your needs and boundaries with others.
Environmental dimension — this dimension involves your surroundings, both at home and at work. Spending time in nature, keeping your home and work space somewhat decluttered and clean, and doing eco-friendly tasks such as recycling and reducing your use of energy and water can all impact your environmental wellness for the better.
3 tips for environmental wellness:
*declutter and clean your surroundings in whatever way fits your style. Some people prefer doing this in small batches and others like to go on a massive decluttering/cleaning frenzy! An orderly environment is the goal.
*be eco-friendly by recycling, planting a garden, conserve energy and water, walk or bike instead of drive;
*spend as much time outside as possible.
Financial dimension — includes your satisfaction with your financial situation. Finances can be a major source of stress. Taking steps to improve your financial wellness by sticking to a budget and cutting back on unnecessary expenses help to improve your financial wellness.
3 tips for financial wellness:
*develop and stick to a budget that works for you and your family;
*start a savings account and add to it each month – even small amounts help;
*cut back on unnecessary expenses (for me, it’s buying magazines), and reduce or eliminate your credit card debt.
In what areas of wellness are you feeling the strongest? In what areas do you want to improve? Think about setting goals for each area and making gradual improvement in all eight dimensions of wellness. Setting goals and working toward achieving them also adds to your wellness! I would love to hear your tips for any of the dimensions.
Self-care is great for slowing down and taking care of your needs. But can it also help you be more productive with setting goals? Absolutely! Read on to see how.
PLANNING FOR SELF-CARE AS YOU PLAN YOUR WEEK
There are lots of different ways to plan your week in advance, but here’s what I do. First I do a “brain dump” of all the stuff I need to get done, all the places I need to be, etc.
Once I have this list, I then schedule it in time blocks for my week. (See my post about that here.) It might sound stressful to see all this stuff on paper, but this process actually helps your brain to relax and stop churning out the message that you need to hurry up, you have all this stuff to do, there is no way you can get everything done, etc.
Another way that the brain dump and scheduling/time blocking helps you relax is that you can be more realistic about what you can actually do in a day or a week and you can estimate how long tasks will actually take. Instead of feeling defeated that you are not getting anything done, you can feel accomplished that you got the most important tasks done. For more about time blocking and productivity, think about joining the Productivity Boot Camp!
Now, as you are fitting tasks into your time blocks, think about small self-care tasks that could fit into that block as well. You’re not trying to add one more “thing to do” to the list, you are looking for how you can take care of yourself while you are getting stuff done. For instance, while you are cleaning or decluttering an area of your home, could you listen to a book on Audible or a podcast? While you are cooking dinner, could you listen to music that makes you happy?
Schedule a specific self-care activity for yourself each day. Instead of “relax before bed”, write something like “read new Elin Hilderbrand book with a cup of Sleepytime tea”, for instance.
As you plan your day, make sure you have “the basics” in place. Basic self-care activities include eating healthy food (at least 80% of the time), getting enough sleep (7-8 hours nightly), and getting some daily exercise/movement (at least 15 minutes). Then think about what other self-care activities will fit into your day and will make you feel happy and energized to get back to all the things you need to do.
TAKE A BREAK!
No matter how busy you are, make sure you plan for breaks. Think about how much more productive you are after you have taken a break. This study talks about how taking breaks for some kind of self-care actually makes people 12 – 20% more productive, on average. So taking frequent self-care breaks throughout the day will help you to get more done, not less.
At the very moment when we feel like there is no time to take a break — it’s time to take a break. Trust me on this. When you are feeling like you’re already behind and you have so much to do and you are so overwhelmed with everything that needs your attention, just walk away. Close the laptop, close your eyes, walk into another room — whatever helps you to not see all the stuff that is cascading in on you. See my post about why you need self-care HERE. Click the link on at the end of this post for a printable list of activities you can do. Print it out and keep it near your work space or on your refrigerator if you are a work at home mom. Choose an activity from the list and do something for yourself!
Taking those breaks helps you return to the tasks at hand with more energy and focus. Another benefit is that while you are taking a break, you often get an idea for how to solve a problem. Clearing your mind and changing your focus helps you get some calm and some perspective.
Burnout is real. The only way to prevent it is to take breaks. Maintaining optimism and energy for your work is important but it doesn’t happen without giving yourself some time away from that work. Taking breaks and spending time away from work also helps you to feel more gratitude for what you have — for your work, for your work space and the people in your life.
SELF-CARE DURING WORKING HOURS
Quick tips for self-care during working hours:
*keep healthy snacks handy (fruit, nuts, protein bars, kale chips – whatever fits into your healthy diet)
*”level up” the people you spend the most time with – who are the people who stay healthy and still get stuff done? Try to spend more time around them because it will help you to “level up” your own actions
*stand up, walk around, take stretch breaks, walk up and down stairs
*try a standing desk or walking meetings to get more movement into your day
*go outside! Get some fresh air and sunshine. Consider taking your work outside if you can.
*find some time for doing something you enjoy during your working day. Can you call, text or email a friend? Scroll through social media? Order something to be delivered to your home or office?
*drink water all day long! Make it a goal to drink half of your body weight in ounces of water.
*look out your window if you can see trees or some other natural beauty. If not, set your computer screensaver to pictures of landscapes or pictures of anything that makes you feel happy and peaceful.
*play soothing music at a low volume.
*take five deep breaths. Breathe through your nose in for a count of four, then out for a count of four.
Planning your week, scheduling specific activities and times for self-care, and taking breaks are so important for your physical and mental health. Choose some small tasks and try them out this week!
The term “self-care” seems to be everywhere (including on this blog!), but what does it really mean? Is self-care being selfish or overly focused on your own needs?
To me, self-care is all about taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually SO THAT you can meet others’ needs. It keeps us healthy, happy and balanced. Self-care is what enables us to keep going and to be more effective teachers, moms, wives, or friends, plus doing all the things we do to keep everything going.
Think about when you are at your best and being the best teacher or wife/mom or friend. What helps you to be YOUR best? I’ll bet it’s not staying up until 1 a.m.. watching Netflix or scrolling through social media. It’s not from spending hours and hours doing things for other people so that you’re stressed and crabby. You’re at your best for other people when you are also taking care of YOU.
While some self-care activities take longer than others, practicing self-care does not need to take a lot of time away from other people in your life. And it definitely is not selfish. The best analogy I’ve heard about self-care is that of comparing self-care to what flight attendants tell you about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping your child with their mask. It’s very difficult to be your best self for other people and take care of them if you are not taking care of yourself. And if you don’t put yourself on your to-do list, you will always be your own last priority.
The goal is to make self-care part of what you naturally do throughout the day.
Many self-care activities or practices may be activities that you already do, but did not think of it as self-care. Some examples include: exercising, reading a devotional passage or some inspirational book, giving someone a hug, drinking enough water. Now think about how you feel when you have done one of those activities. Does it make you feel better in some way? How do you feel toward other people? Anything that gives you more energy and a desire to help other people cannot possibly be selfish. It’s healthy and helpful, both for you and for those you love.
I quote Regie Routman a lot on this blog and in my work with other teachers. In her latest book, Literacy Essentials, she writes about many important aspects of teaching and learning, but one of my favorite parts is her reminder that we have to live full and interesting lives in order to be and do our best as teachers. This is wise advice for everyone, regardless of your career or if you are a parent.
In the section of the book on “Engagement – Creating a Thriving Learning Environment”, Regie writes about the importance of living an interesting life. She says that,
“How we live our lives outside of school matters . . . To foster a healthy social, emotional, and intellectual environment in our schools, we need to model that culture through our own actions.”
In giving specific advice on this topic, Regie advises prioritizing. She says:
“Time is always in short supply. To find the time to do the things we love, we often have to let something go . . . I also make time to read every day. . . As well, just about every day I write something that feels important to me. And yet. I still have unpacked boxes from a move to Seattle 14 years ago, my closets are disorganized, the oven needs cleaning, and my house will never be a dust-free zone. I will get to those chores as best I can, but they are rarely my top priorities.”
Regie tells a great story about what she learned about teaching and living from taking up tennis. Her primary purpose was to be able to play with her 16-year-old granddaughter. One of the lessons she learned was that having fun makes YOU feel good. Although getting exercise was an initial motivation, she soon realized that having fun overtook every other reason for playing, and made her happy.
“If we are investing a lot of effort and time into teaching and learning, shouldn’t joy be a by-product for both us and our students?”
Another lesson Regie learned was that doing something for yourself is a luxury AND a necessity. She talks about how life demands and guilt keep her from treating herself to things that are just for her. It was a surprise to find how great it felt to indulge in an enjoyable pursuit that was purely personal.
“Following a pleasurable, self-chosen pursuit continues to lift my spirits and give me energy to deal with the “hard stuff” life offers. Investing time in what brings us joy — whether it’s reading, biking, painting, baking, creating, and so on — gives our lives richness and balance.”
Doing the things that make us happy and that feed our souls will make us better in every other part of our lives.
A question to ask yourself — what do you need right now? Do you need a few minutes of peace and quiet? Do you need to talk with someone else? Asking yourself what you need right now, and then doing some self-care task that will help meet that need,. will make a huge difference for you.
Here is a simple list, organized by physical activities (for when you are feeling tired or unmotivated) and mental activities (for when you need clarity, focus, or are feeling frustrated). I’ve also listed activities by the amount of time they will take. Many of the activities are in both categories because they are beneficial in many ways!
Take a look and start small. Maybe choose one thing from both the physical and mental categories that you will try to do TODAY. Add more activities whenever you want! Remember that the goal is to make self-care something that you do naturally throughout the day.
Physical activities – (for when you are feeling tired or unmotivated)
1 – 5 minutes:
*Drink a big glass of water, flavored with lemon or lime if you like. \Benefits of staying hydrated all day: helps all internal organs work more efficiently, flushes out toxins and waste, increases your metabolism, increases your focus, and boosts energy levels.
*Open your curtains or blinds or just step outside for some fresh air and sunshine. Benefits: boosts your mood, makes you feel happier, and increases your body’s level of vitamin D.
*Eat a healthy snack (raw vegetables, fruit, nuts, cheese stick, whatever fits your healthy diet plan). Benefits: curbs cravings, regulates mood, and boosts brain power.
*Drink some good coffee or hot tea. Benefits of drinking a warm beverage: it slows you down & helps you relax, it keeps you hydrated, and the smell alone can make you feel happier.
*Put on your favorite comfy clothes.
*Call, text, or make plans to get together with someone you enjoy.
*Pet a dog or cat or some other furry creature. Benefits: it helps you relax by lowering heart rate and blood pressure.
*Make a list of things you do well or things you have accomplished recently. It doesn’t matter if the accomplishment is small — if you’re proud that you did it, list it anyway! According to Forbes.com, it is the one thing successful people do every day! Read more about that here.
*Light a favorite candle. Benefits: favorite scents help you relax and feel calm.
*Do some stretching exercises. Benefits: increases blood flow to your muscles, relieves stress, and calms your mind.
*Write down ten things that you are grateful for or ten things that are going well in your life and work. Benefits: helps you feel more relaxed, resilient and happier.
*Write in a journal. Write whatever comes to mind. This is similar to morning pages, but it doesn’t have to be done in the morning! Benefits: it helps you process and cope with stress and relieves anxiety.
*Do legs up the wall pose – Benefits: it triggers the relaxation response, increases circulation and stretches your hamstrings and lower back. See how to do it here!
*Ask for help. Can someone else do some task instead of you doing it?
*Pray. Remember that you are not in charge.
5-15 minutes
*Take a long shower or bubble bath, using good smelling products.
*Read 5-10 pages of an inspiring or motivational book.
*Take a walk with someone you love. (This might include your dog.)
*Take a walk by yourself.
*Do some yoga poses to stretch and relax your body. See my Pinterest board for suggestions.
*Buy yourself some flowers or a new plant.
*Watch something new to you on Netflix.
*Bake something! You don’t have to eat it all yourself. You can always give it away or take it in to the office for co-workers to enjoy.
*Try a new healthy recipe.
*Try a new restaurant, cafe or coffee shop.
30-60 minutes
*Get a massage.
*Get a manicure or pedicure or both!
*Take a nap.
Mental clarity (for when you’re frustrated or your mind feels jumbled)
1 – 5 minutes
*Look at photos of happy memories with family or friends.
*Make a list of positive affirmations and read them or recite them to yourself throughout the day. This feels silly at first, but you will find that encouraging yourself with positive affirmations helps you believe what you are telling yourself.
*Meditate. Try using the apps Headspace or Calm.
*Do a “brain dump” of everything that is on your mind. Somehow just getting everything out of your head and onto the page makes me feel better.
*Make a to-do list of just three items. When you finish those three, move on to adding three more.
*Turn off your phone and all notifications for a period of time that fits you. Maybe an hour? Maybe all day long?
*Make a list of things you do well or things you have accomplished recently. It doesn’t matter if the accomplishment is small — if you’re proud that you did it, list it anyway!
*Light a favorite candle.
*Write down ten things that you are grateful for or ten things that are going well in your life and work.
*Write in a journal. Write whatever comes to mind. This is similar to morning pages, but it doesn’t have to be done in the morning!
*Watch the sun rise.
*Watch the sun set.
*Ask for help. Can someone else do some task instead of you doing it?
*Pray. Remember that you are not in charge.
5-15 minutes
*Write morning pages, even if it’s not the morning! Get your journal, grab whatever paper you can find, or use your computer/tablet/phone. Whatever helps you to just write. Try to write for either a specific period of time (5-10 minutes) OR tell yourself to write one to three pages. Just write down whatever comes to mind. You don’t even have to keep this writing unless you want to. The point is to get everything out of your worried brain and onto the paper so that you can get some clarity and focus on what is most important to do next. Read more about writing morning pages from Julia Cameron here.
*Make your bed, hang up clothes, fold laundry, empty the dishwasher. Do some small, mindless tasks like these to bring order and calm to your surroundings
*Read 5-10 pages of an inspiring or motivational book.
*Take a walk with someone you love. (This might include your dog.)
*Take a walk by yourself.
*Do some yoga poses to stretch and relax your body.
*Clean or organize some area that bothers you. Only clean or organize one small part at a time OR work on it for just 15 minutes. You will feel energized and ready to come back to it and finish at another time.
*Think of something you want to learn how to do and find a video on youtube that teaches you how to do that. It could be something you want to learn to cook or bake, some craft you want to learn to do – whatever. Youtube is a great source of tutorials!
*If you’re not in the mood to learn something new, find a video on youtube that makes you laugh. It could be a stand-up comedy show or Saturday Night Live skits.
*Play a game or do a puzzle of some type. My family loves to play board games together, but I also love a good crossword, word search or Sudoku puzzle.
*Listen to a podcast.
30-60 minutes
*Make homemade pizza with friends or family.
*Get a manicure or pedicure or both!
*Go to a museum.
*Bake something! You don’t have to eat it all yourself. You can always give it away or take it in to the office for co-workers to enjoy.
*Try a new healthy recipe.
*Make a vision board. Use magazine photos and cardboard or go more high-tech and create your board on Google slides using online images.
*Plan a trip or a weekend getaway. Even if you can’t go any time soon, the joy is in the anticipation!
*Go through your closet or other area of your home and find items you can donate to a thrift shop. Giving things away while they still have value helps both you (it feels good to get rid of stuff you don’t use) and the recipients of your donation (who need what you’re giving away).
*Take a nap.
I hope this post has helped you to think about self-care in a new way! I would love to hear your ideas and suggestions for how you make self-care part of your daily life.
This is the time of year when many people make New Year’s resolutions. I don’t do that anymore. Instead, I try to think more strategically about what changes I want to make and what I want to add to my life, not what I want to stop doing. After reading some great books, I have come up with a system that works for me when it comes to setting goals. NOTE: this system works can be used at any time of year, not just in January. Setting goals can be done whenever it works best for you!
Grab some paper, a favorite pen and some coffee or tea. Here are some suggestions for thinking about how you can make this a great year for you!
Caution: this post might look like it will take you a full day to do all this thinking and planning, but it won’t. Just do what you can, in small amounts if necessary, until you finish the process. By the time you are done, you will be on the path to making your life even better in the next year!
Step 1 – Reflection
First, think about what went well during the past year. Instead of feeling down about all the goals you didn’t meet, all the bad habits you continued doing, think about what you did do well. This will help you get started on a positive note and will help show you what you might want to do more of during the next year.
Here are some questions to get you started. You don’t need to answer all of these. This is just to help get you thinking.
*what will you remember about this past year?
*who are some people you met or re-connected with that added value to your life?
*what were your three favorite moments from the past year?
*what is something that you are proud of from the past year?
*if you experienced a big challenge or experienced a great loss, what good things came from that experience?
*what were some “aha” moments, where you realized something about yourself and your life?
*were there any goals that you did achieve last year?
*what worked to help you achieve those goals? *were there any goals that you did not achieve last year?
*what got in your way and prevented you from achieving those goals?
Step 2 – Visualize
In addition to the questions above, start thinking about how you want your life to look in five or ten years. (Some people suggest thinking about three years from now. It doesn’t matter. Just choose some amount of time and start dreaming!)
Here are some questions to get you started:
*what will you do in your work?
*where will you live?
*what relationships are important to you?
*what will you do for fun or recreations?
*how will you look and feel?
*what will your financial life be like?
*where will you travel or vacation?
*how do you want your life to look in the next five years?
*what is the ONE change that would improve your life the most next year?
*what is the ONE thing you need more of in your life?
*what is your biggest challenge?
*what is your greatest need?
Get very specific in your imagination about how you will look, feel, live, what you will be doing and who you will be doing life with.
As you are thinking about these questions and doing this visualizing, just write whatever comes to mind. As I write, tasks I need to complete often come to mind (return sweater to Nordstrom, clean out hall closet, write letter to a friend, etc.). Even though those might not be “goals”, I write them down anyway. That way, my mind doesn’t fixate on trying to remember those tasks and it can be freed up to think of the bigger things. Sometimes, those tasks give me clues as to other things I want to do. For instance, if I keep thinking of people I need to write or people I need to call, maybe a goal of mine should be something like keeping in touch with friends or contacting people who need encouragement.
Once you have this brainstormed list, put stars beside the things that you believe would make the biggest difference in your life.
Step 3 – Identify 10 dreams
In a podcast episode, Rachel Hollis talks about how to do this visualizing process. Rachel calls it her 10-10-1 system. First she recommends envisioning your life ten years from now. What do you want to be, do and have in your life?
Once you have done some visualization, here are Rachel’s suggestions for what do next:
First, take all those dreams you just envisioned for yourself and narrow them down to ten. (You can combine them however you want if narrowing down to ten is difficult.)
Now write each of these dreams as if they have already happened. So you will write them in the present tense. For example: I am an exceptional wife.I earn a six figure salary.
Step 4 – Identify 1-3 goals to help you achieve your dreams
Here are Rachel’s tips for what to do next:
Now that you’ve envisioned your life ten years from now and you’ve identified ten dreams, it’s time for the “one”: write one goal that will help move you toward those ten dreams.
Rachel recommends going “all in” on that one goal, instead of setting a bunch of smaller goals.
And speaking of that one goal — make it a stretch goal. If it doesn’t “scare” you a little bit, it’s not big enough! Make it something that you are almost not sure you can achieve, something that makes you nervous. I promise that you will work harder than you have ever worked on a goal before because it will push you out of your comfort zone. Think of how exciting it will be when you do finally achieve the goal!
I have read lots of other things that recommend up to three big goals instead of one. Do what works for you. I tend to set two goals — one that is more work-related and one that is more health-related.
Keep in mind that there is a difference between a goal and a project or task. My goal might be to have a decluttered/organized home. A project might be to clean out closets and donate/sell or re-organize the contents. I define projects as the tasks I need to do to bring me closer to the goal. More about that in the next section.
Step 5 – Break big yearly goals down into 12-week goals along with projects/tasks to help you achieve the goal
A famous quote from Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, is a quote you may have heard before:
“A goal is a dream with a deadline.”
~Napoleon Hill
I agree with that, somewhat. As Rachel Hollis says in the Start Today journal:
“A lot of people also say that a goal has to have a time limit, but I don’t like that for goals because I feel like it sets you up for failure . . . The intention here is that working on your ideal self is a lifelong process to become who you were meant to be. Lifelong processes don’t have a time limit. All that matters is that you have consistency. We’re not looking for perfection; we’re looking for habit and that’s why this journal is a practice for every day.”
~Rachel Hollis
That is very true for many goals, such as getting better at something (like tennis or teaching) or working on something that is relationship related. However, some goals are ones that can be achieved within a time frame. Maintaining that achievement might be a lifelong process, but getting there might benefit from a deadline. To help set those deadlines, consider breaking your goal down into twelve week intervals. The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran & Michael Lennington explains this process.
Here is how I use it: instead of making these goals/projects something that I will complete by the end of the year (which seems a long way off when it’s only January), I identify two goals that I want to achieve in the next 12 weeks. Then I list the daily and weekly tasks I will need to do to reach that goal. For example, if my goal is to lose ten pounds during the next 12 weeks, my daily/weekly tasks might look like this:
To make sure I am on track to meet my goal, I could weigh myself each week (what the authors call a “lag indicator”). But I also score my completion of each task by checking off each task I completed as a percentage of the number possible (a “lead indicator”). For the task of following the Faster Way to Fat Loss beginner workouts five days a week, the possible number is five. If I only complete four workouts, my lead indicator for this task is 80%. If your lead indicator scores are 85% or higher, you are on track to achieve your 12 week goal. So in this case, I might look at what prevented me from completing that fifth workout and change whatever I might need to change in order to get that workout in next week. Get the idea?
At the end of 12 weeks, sit down and evaluate your progress toward your goals. What is working well? What do you need to change in order to make progress toward that big year-end goal? Set some new 12-week goals and what you will do to meet the goals and begin again! Reflection and self-assessment are critically important tasks for teachers to do in their work, and I’ve found that they work well for personal goals as well.
Step 6 – Start with a penny a day
The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson is a book that was recommended to me by Jennifer Hogan (the Compelled Educator blog). Jeff uses one of my favorite quotes to make his point in this book:
“. . . do the thing, and you shall have the power . . .”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here’s some wisdom from Jeff:
“To accomplish anything worth accomplishing, to create success, to achieve your dreams, you don’t have to do impossible, extraordinary, superhuman things. But you have to do something. You have to start with a penny.”
~Jeff Olson
Throughout the book, Jeff talks about the importance of small, simple, daily actions that help you complete a larger goal. Here is an example:
“If I told you that reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich would change your life, would you sit own and read it, cover to cover, today? Mind you, that’s a 256-page book, and those aren’t lightweight pages . . . But could you read a penny’s worth — say, ten pages? . . . I don’t know how much you would get out of ten pages; maybe a lot, maybe nothing. Let’s say you get nothing. But if you could read ten pages today, could you read ten more tomorrow? Of course you could — anyone who can read could do that.
“And if you do that, and you keep it up for every day for a year, you will have read about a dozen brilliant, life-transforming classics. Your mind will be filled with the strategies and know-how to create a startling new level of success. You will have thoughts of millionaires — all from a penny.
“But you need to start with the penny.”
~Jeff Olson
As you think of tasks to move you toward achieving your goals, what are some small, simple, daily disciplines you could do? Start with a penny. Know that every little step you take is adding up. This is similar to Rachel Hollis’s words about lifelong processes.
Jeff’s advice reminds me of another great book — Getting Back to Happyby Marc & Angel Chernoff. In the introduction to their chapter “Rituals: Practice Daily What You Want to Manifest Regularly”, they say:
“Carve out a little time every day to focus on the things that matter most, and the benefits will return to you exponentially.”
~Marc & Angel Chernoff
In this chapter, they discuss setting goals and why that process often does not work. “Here’s the truth: goals don’t make positive changes happen, daily rituals do.” Marc and Angel go on to say that it’s possible to focus on our goals too much!
“Too often we obsess over a big goal, something we desperately want in our life,but are completely unfocused when it comes to the ritual — the recurring steps — that ultimately makes the goal attainable.”
~Marc & Angel Chernoff
Getting back to the weight loss example: Marc and Angel explain that if you stop thinking about your goal to lose ten pounds, and focus instead on eating healthy (with specific “rituals” that you will follow) and exercising every day (again, with some specific “rituals”), you would still lose weight and get closer to your goal. This, too, might not fit perfectly into a deadline category, but at the end of 12 weeks you would still be much closer to the goal than you would have been otherwise.
Losing weight is one example of an outcome goal over which you may not have complete control. Other factors might interfere with your losing weight at the rate you might like to lose it. However, what you can control are the processes, or the “rituals”, that will lead you to the goal.
“What we’ve learned . . . is this: nothing will change unless you make a daily ritual that reinforces your goal.”
~Marc & Angel Chernoff
Building on Rachel’s advice about lifelong processes and Jeff’s advice about starting with a penny, Marc and Angel also recommend thinking of rituals as lifestyle changes that you’ll be doing for the long term. Instead of planning to work out every day for two hours (when you have not been working out at all), plan to work out for just 15 minutes. You can do anything for 15 minutes. But if that is too hard for some reason, drop it down to ten minutes and work up from there. As Jeff says, you have to start with a penny.
Other helpful tips:
*Start and end your day with gratitude. Think about or write down five things for which you are grateful. Being grateful will change your life for the better.
*Read your goals every single day. Bonus points for writing them down every day and saying them out loud.
*Daydream and visualize yourself having achieved your goal, or being in the lifelong process of achieving it.
*Keep a journal. Track your progress, set smaller goals, reflect on mistakes or reflect on growth. You could also use your journal for the gratitude practice and for writing your goals down every day.
*Consider sharing your goals with others. Use social media. Tell your spouse or other family members. You also might consider forming a group of friends (sometimes called a “mastermind”) where you meet to share your goals and encourage each other. This builds accountability to others, which is a huge motivator. Getting a coach is another great way to get support, encouragement and accountability.
*One caution about sharing your goals. Make sure you are sharing them with people who will support and encourage you, not laugh or tell you that your goal is impossible.
*Keep your rituals small to start, but do them daily. Another piece of wisdom from Marc & Angel:
“You can’t lift a thousand pounds all at once, yet you can easily lift one pound a thousand times. Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you to your goal. It doesn’t happen in an instant, but it does happen a lot faster than not getting there at all.”
~Marc & Angel Chernoff
*Log your progress by putting a star or some other symbol on your planner for every day that you complete your ritual that leads to a goal. Then — don’t break the pattern! Momentum is everything.
*Create visual reminders of your rituals or set reminders on your phone.
I hope that these tips will help you to identify your big goals for the next year! I would love to hear about how you’re using these tips.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
