It’s early in December. Have you already completed all your planning for the season and started on your holiday tasks? No? Neither have I. So let’s just make our peace with that and move forward into the most wonderful time of the year! Here are some tips for last-minute Christmas planning.
First things first: let’s make some lists. Use paper or use an app, but start making lists. The lists do not need to be perfect – you can always add to them later. It helps if you keep all these lists in the same notebook or planner.
Some lists to make (choose what works for you): ~gift lists (who you need/want to give gifts to, some ideas for those gifts) ~divide up gift list – how many gifts to purchase or make per day or per week until done. I try to make December 16 my deadline for gifts. ~gift purchase places (local stores, online options) ~gift making needs ~gift wrapping needs
~Christmas movies or music you want to use to get your family (and yourself) in the holiday spirit
~church events for Advent/Christmas – when, what
~other parties/events for December – when, where
~Christmas Eve plans
~Christmas Day plans
~house guests – who, when, what you need to do to prepare for guests
~holiday events with extended family – who, when, where, what you need to do to prepare
~holiday card things to do (choose photos, order from Minted or Shutterfly, address envelopes, mail -maybe make this a Happy New Year card instead? Or send it digitally?)
~ideas for short but sweet holiday activities to do with your kids daily. Watch for a future post with some suggestions!
~other holiday events or tours or other special activities that you might want to try this year
~quick, easy, delicious meals for December meal planning
~baking lists (if you like to bake) – who will you give gifts to? What supplies do you need to purchase?
~decorating projects (inside the house, outside the house, Christmas tree)
Feeling better already? Still feeling overwhelmed? The good thing is that now you have more control since you have an idea of what needs to be done. You may also choose to eliminate some things and focus on what is most meaningful for you and your family. Now let’s plan for when those tasks will get done!
Week 1 – first Sunday of Advent week
Plan blocks of time (even short amounts of time) to complete the following tasks:
~make those lists!
~decorate inside house
~decorate outside house? (you could also do this throughout the next week)
~begin an Advent prayer list and devotional readings with lighting an Advent wreath
~begin daily holiday activities with kids
~attend a church event?
~buy some gifts (easiest ones to buy). Gift cards? Food shipments? (Some favorite food shipment places:
Omaha Steaks, Wolferman’s, Harry & David, Southern Season)
~work on your holiday card, if you’re sending one
Week 2 – second Sunday of Advent week
~attend some holiday event around your town?
~continue Advent prayer list and devotional readings with Advent wreath
~daily holiday activities with kids
~attend a church event?
~holiday baking
~decorate tree
~more gift shopping
~buy gift wrapping supplies
~begin gift wrapping
~buy some new decorations?
~make/buy gifts for work friends?
~work on holiday card (if sending)
Week 3 – third Sunday of Advent week:
~more gift shopping!
~more gift wrapping!
~more baking?
~try to set December 16 as your deadline for shopping
~attend some holiday event around your town?
~continue Advent prayer list and devotional readings with Advent wreath
~daily holiday activities with kids
~attend a church event?
~buy/make gifts for neighbors?
~work on holiday card (if sending)
Week 4 – fourth Sunday of Advent week
~attend some holiday event around your town?
~continue Advent prayer list and devotional readings with Advent wreath
~daily holiday activities with kids
~attend a church event?
~buy stocking stuffers
~finish gift wrapping!
Week 5 – deadline: December 26!
~Christmas Eve – enjoy!
~Christmas Day – enjoy!
~Day after Christmas – consider staying in pajamas all day, eating simple meals, playing board games, enjoying holiday gifts and relaxing with your family!
Keep an eye on this blog for future posts on how to make this a wonderful time of year for yourself and your family! Even if you are planning at the last minute.
Every job has its own set of stresses. While your job may not be “stressful” all the time, it probably has its moments where you are feeling more stressed and overwhelmed. Here are some tips for staying calm and taking care of yourself when that overwhelm is threatening to take over!
1 – Do some deep breathing. This is my first go-to when I am feeling overwhelmed. Even if you can’t escape to a quiet, private spot, just stop where you are and breathe in and out to a count of four. Even just three deep breaths make a difference as it stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system (leading to a feeling of calmness) and increases the supply of oxygen to your brain.
2 – Take a break. (The Hamilton song is playing in my head right now!) Can someone else take over or cover for you for a few minutes? Can you just take a quick walk down the hall or outside? For me, sometimes I just walk into a neighboring classroom for a moment. It breaks the tension and helps calm you down by giving you a different perspective for a few moments.
3 – Eat something healthy. While the temptation is always there to eat sugar or junk food, try eating something healthy instead. OR tell yourself that you can have the junky treat as soon as you eat something healthy first. (That often curbs the temptation right there.) Eat something that is good for your body. Examples: baby carrots (crunching them also releases tension in your jaw!), apple slices, other raw veggies or fruit, nuts, healthy trail mix.
4 – Drink water. Many of us are under-hydrated. Try to drink your body weight in ounces of water every day. Add flavor with lemon or lime wedges or drink flavored seltzer.
5 – Meditate. The Headspace app is my go-to, but there are several good apps for quick meditations that can be done anywhere. Of course, you can meditate without an app. Simply close your eyes, take deep breaths focus on a word or phrase that relaxes you, or count your inhales and exhales up to ten, then start over again. Even one minute of meditation helps!
6 – Do some yoga poses (standing poses: standing forward bend, eagle pose, dolphin pose, extended triangle pose; floor poses: child’s pose, bridge pose, legs up the wall pose, cat pose, easy pose, corpse pose). Check out Yoga with Adriene for more poses.
7 – Keep something at work that smells good and makes you feel better. It could be an empty perfume bottle, an essential oil that you love (a favorite brand is Natrogix Bliss), a small bottle of Johnson’s baby powder, or a good-smelling tea bag.
8 – Make lists. Lists help me to calm down and feel more on top of whatever is going on. Grab a notebook or use sticky notes – whatever paper is handy and that you can easily locate later. Types of lists you might make: tasks you need to do, tasks you want to do, students (or others) who need your attention/care in some way, things to “fix” or think about, things that are going well, things for which to be grateful, ideas to try, things you want to turn over to God, etc.
9 – Plan some small self-care activity to look forward to (buy a latte or chai tea on the way home, buy flowers for your home, do some workout that you enjoy, take a walk, take a bubble bath, go to bed early, buy or make a delicious dinner, listen to a favorite music playlist, read a good book, call/text/write to someone you love, listen to a positive podcast, buy something small that you will enjoy using or wearing).
10 – Say or do something nice for someone right in front of you. Smiling counts. Telling them something you appreciate about them counts too.
11 – Look around and find ONE thing that is going well or one person for whom you are grateful. Believe it or not, this helps focus your mind on what is going well instead of all that may be crowding in on you at the moment. Despite your massive to-do list and all the ways in which you may feel that you are falling short, there is always something you are doing well and someone who appreciates you. Remind yourself of this one thing or one person. Make a list of what is going well, what you are doing well, students or patients with whom you are connecting. Savor these “small wins”. Keep this as an ongoing list.
12 – If you are a teacher like I am, stay focused on the students. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by more and more being added to your plate (with nothing ever being removed), more and more demands from district offices and from parents/community. But if you can stay focused on your WHY – your students – you will be focused on what really matters.
13 – If you are able to leave work a little earlier, do so. Go home and relax, go work out at the gym, buy yourself some flowers, do something that will cheer you up. Give yourself some grace from all the stress and overwhelm. Remember that there is a big difference between self-care and being selfish.
No matter the level of stress or overwhelm, you are doing so many things well. Keep that in mind and take care of yourself.
We’ve all been there — feeling like something we’re doing is just not worth it. Here’s a self-care tip to help you keep going: Be an encourager.
Wait, isn’t this tip supposed to be something that helps you? Believe it or not, this tip DOES help you. Whatever you put out in the world tends to come back to you. So if you want to be encouraged, find someone else to encourage. This can take the form of a verbal comment, a post-it note, an email, a hug — whatever feels comfortable for you.
When people see you as positive and as an encourager, they will tend to give the same gift back to you. Maybe not right away, but it will happen.
Today I talked to two teachers. Both of them were people with whom I worked a few years ago, and both are in transition — trying to figure out their next steps in teaching. One was wondering about leaving the classroom for another position and the other was discouraged about their teaching life in general.
I don’t know that I had any great insight or inspiring “words of wisdom” for them. But what I do know is that I could give the one thing they needed most: I could listen. And as I listened, I could chime in here and there with encouragement: reminders of things that I know they do very well, things about them that make them a positive force for good in the world.
At the end of the phone calls, both thanked me for encouraging them. And it made me wonder — how many times do we think we need to “fix” something or give advice when all the other person wants is to be heard and to be encouraged?
What keeps me going: encourage others. Look for the good. Others will see that in you and return the favor.
Just like planning a morning routine, it’s also important to plan an evening routine that works for you. Here are some ideas for what you might include in an evening routine to help get your next day off to the best start.
The suggestions that follow are based on my life now (married, adult children no longer living at home, early rising elementary school teacher). Use them or adapt them to do what works for you!
LATE AFTERNOON/EARLY EVENING
*After dinner and kitchen clean-up, set up your morning beverages and breakfast/lunch for the next day. I get my coffee maker set up for the next morning (a necessity!), then prep/pack my lunch. (I don’t eat breakfast because I do intermittent fasting every day. See my post for more information.)
*Get some exercise and fresh air after dinner. I walk my dog every evening. Other options might include to sit outside or just walk outside for a few minutes and do some deep breathing.
*If you did not do some meditation earlier in the day (morning or afternoon), try to take just five minutes for that in the evening. Meditation could also be combined with an evening walk (with or without a dog), or with being outside.
*Make sure your living areas are somewhat neat and tidy, the kitchen is cleaned, and laundry is sorted for the next day if it’s a laundry day. I don’t take an hour to do all this — I do as much as I can in about 20-30 minutes. This is not a time for “deep” cleaning, just a simple clearing of clutter.
*Speaking of clutter clearing, you might get your purse and work bag cleaned out, packed and ready for the next day.
*Plan and time block the next day. I will be sharing more about time blocking on a future post. This helps me focus on what I need to get done the following day and what tasks will reasonably fit into the day’s “blocks”, based on other responsibilities and appointments.
Also look at your list realistically. Could you delegate some tasks? What really has to be done, and what could you eliminate without major stress? Sometimes self-care involves deciding what you will NOT do.
LATER IN EVENING
*Now it’s time to just sit and relax. I might watch some TV with my husband or I read while he watches TV. Other “sitting” tasks might include “sending love out into the world” (see the morning routine post for info) by calling or writing a note to or even just texting a friend or family member. Another great evening tip is to add to a gratitude journal. Just list 3-5 things for which you are grateful.
Occasionally I’ll do some kind of computer work, but I try to turn off all screens about an hour before bedtime. (I have heard the suggestion to turn off all screens after dark or by 9 p.m. The point is to set some rule for yourself about turning off screens to ensure better sleep for yourself.)
*Sip a mug of hot tea. Any flavor you enjoy is fine, but make sure it is decaffeinated.
*Put your phone on airplane mode or turn off notifications so that you are “unreachable” and not distracted by your phone.
*Take a bath or shower before getting ready for bed. You also might add Epsom salts (for muscle relaxing properties) or a tiny bit of essential oil.
*Lay out your clothes/outfit for the next day, which helps reduce decision fatigue the following morning.
*Do a few yoga poses to relax and let your body know that it’s time to go to bed. Yoga with Adriene on YouTube is a great resource for bedtime yoga routines. (Yes, it’s using a screen, but once you learn one of her routines, you can do the routine while just listening to her instruction.) Some of the best bedtime poses: standing forward bend, seated spinal twist, legs up the wall pose, and corpse pose.
BEDTIME
*Read – something that relaxes you. This is different for everyone, but here is what I avoid: any kind of crime story, mysteries, or self-help books! I don’t want to be scared or looking for clues or worrying about what I need to change about myself right before I go to sleep. Find the reading that soothes and relaxes you.
*Sometimes I listen to the Relax Melodies app or the sleep meditations on the Headspace app.
*Set your alarm for your wake-up time, but try to choose a gentle alarm sound. One of the best tips I’ve heard is to keep your alarm a few feet from your bed. That discourages hitting the snooze button since you have to get out of bed to stop the alarm. It sounds simple, but it really works!
*Turn off the lights in time to get at least seven hours of sleep. Or more! While many experts recommend going to bed and getting up at the same times every day, I do not always follow that advice. When I am extra tired from a busy week, I might go to bed earlier and get more than seven hours of sleep. Listen to your body, but aim for seven hours of sleep every night.
A quality evening routine will help you to wind down and get quality sleep, knowing that you are ready for the next day. Try some of these tips and let me know how they work for you!
Does your morning “routine” consist of hitting the snooze button, then rushing around to get yourself (and maybe your children) out the door? Let’s change that pattern & develop a morning routine that works for you!
WHY HAVE A MORNING ROUTINE?
Why have a morning routine?
*it sets the tone for your day
*it reduces anxiety & stress
*it boosts productivity & focus
*it helps you focus on your goals & priorities before the busy-ness of the day sets in
*it makes you healthier
According to Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander, authors of MY MORNING ROUTINE:
“The way you spend your morning has an outsized effect on the rest of your day. The choices we make during the first hour or so of our morning determines whether we have productivity and peace of mind for the rest of the day, or whether it will clobber us over the head. . . .”
“If you don’t dip into your inner reservoirs of energy, focus, and calm first thing, you won’t stand a chance. Start your morning with intentionality, and you can then bring these “wins” with you into the rest of your day.”
Let’s get started!
ROUTINES
So – what is a routine anyway? Routines are things that you do on a regular basis and that you have to intentionally practice. You might have to do them a certain number of times before they become “automatic” to you. It often helps to set a reminder on your phone or to leave post-it notes around to remind you to practice the routine
The authors of My Morning Routine share several people’s morning routines as examples. Another great resource is Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning. Hal suggests six different categories of activities to include in a morning routine. He uses the acronym SAVERS to help remember all six categories.
S = Silence
A = Affirmations
V = Visualization
E = Exercise
R = Reading
S = Scribing (writing)
You might change or adapt your morning routines throughout your life (or even throughout the year). For example, as a teacher, I have a very different morning routine during the school year (when I have to be at work by 7:15 a.m.) than I do during my summer break. If you have kids, your morning routine will be very different from that of someone who does not have kids (or no longer has kids living at home).
You have to decide what appeals to you, what you want to include, what is important for you to do in YOUR morning routine. The following suggestions are just that — suggestions. Pick and choose one or two things to try, then add on or change as you see fit.
Another tip: YOU decide the amounts of time you want to devote to different aspects of your routine. I will share some tips, but you need to choose what might work best for you!
As you read through the categories that follow and think about what might work for you, keep these guidelines in mind:
GUIDELINES FOR PLANNING YOUR MORNING ROUTINE
*YOU choose the amount of time to spend on each category. You might also consider spending a brief time on a category, such as reading, and then spending more time reading later in the day.
*Switch the order of the categories to best suit your needs. For example, maybe you want to spend some time reading or exercising BEFORE taking time for silence.
*Plan backward from the time you need to leave your home. Think about how long each part of your routine might take.
*If you are getting kids ready to leave the house in the morning, factor in more time than what you think you will need.
*If you are not getting enough sleep at night (which varies for everyone), work on going to bed just 5 minutes earlier every night until you hit your “sweet spot”.
*When the alarm goes off, DO NOT HIT SNOOZE! Go ahead and hop out of bed. Well, maybe hopping is a little too ambitious, but at least get out of bed as if you are ready to take on the day!
*Other than the apps listed in the Miracle Morning categories below, try to avoid using your phone. If you must use it, at least try to avoid work emails and social media until you have had time to do the most important parts of your morning routine.
*Turn on some lights OR play music OR turn on the morning news (but only if it is not a stressor or a distraction). Just like hopping out of bed when the alarm goes off, this sends the message to your body and your brain that you are up and ready to take on the day. Turning on a news station sometimes helps to remind you that other people are awake too!
NOTE: this may not be an option for you if you want other people to continue to sleep! You also might want to postpone turning on anything with sound until after you do the Silence part of your routine.
*Open your blinds or curtains or step outside for a deep breath of fresh air. Just like the lights/music/news tip above, this may not be an option if you want others to continue to sleep.
*Make your bed – unless someone else is still in it!
*Wash your face or splash water on your face and then look in the mirror and tell yourself that it’s going to be an amazing day! (It may sound silly, but it really works!)
*Diffuse essential oils or light a scented candle – if that is something you enjoy and if it brings you calm and focus.
*Hydrate! Drink hot lemon water, water, tea or coffee.
Here are some tips for incorporating Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning SAVERS into your routine.
SILENCE
Spend the first few minutes of your routine just sitting in silence and doing some deep breathing. The whole idea here is to start your day in a calm, focused state of mind. I also think of this as a time when I just listen.
How long? Try for 1 minute at first, and build up to 5 minutes or more!
Some ideas:
*say a prayer of gratitude or ask for guidance and direction for the day
*try meditation
*try a guided meditation app such as Headspace or Calm
AFFIRMATIONS
You become what you tell yourself. If you are always telling yourself that you are no good at something, guess what happens? Likewise, if you tell yourself things like, “I am strong. I am confident. I share joy with everyone I meet,” then you will begin to believe those things and will act accordingly. This might sound a little silly (similar to looking in the mirror and telling yourself it’s going to be a great day), but it really works!
Choose some affirmations from this site. You might just choose 3-5 affirmations to start. Write them down and read them out loud during your Affirmation time. Then, try to review them throughout your day. Change your affirmations as often as you like.
VISUALIZATION
Some people create a vision board, basically a collage of images that reflect their dreams and goals. If that appeals to you, create your own board on paper (using your own pictures or online images).
If vision boards are not your thing, you can just spend a minute or so visualizing your entire day from start to finish. Imagine yourself in all of the different settings you will be in on this day and imagine going through your day as your best self. Watch THIS VIDEO to see how athletes use visualization!
EXERCISE
Some people love to exercise first thing in the morning. Some people hate it! Even if you are not interested in doing a full workout routine in the morning, try doing something for just a few minutes to get your body moving.
Spend a few minutes reading something that inspires you. It could be a daily devotional, a Bible study passage, or just 10 pages from a book that helps you to be better and do better.
The idea here is to write something that inspires and empowers you for the day ahead. There are many options for this writing. Some people keep a gratitude journal and list five things they are grateful for every day. Some people like to keep lists of goals or dreams or prayers.
Another form of writing is called Morning Pages. I learned about Morning Pages in Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way. Julia explains the process HERE.
WANT MORE IDEAS?
In addition to the Miracle Morning categories, you might consider adding some of these activities. (And remember that some of these activities could also be done later in the day as part of your afternoon or evening routine.)
*Take one day a week to set goals for yourself. Think about areas of your life such as personal (your own health or emotional well-being), marriage/relationship, parenting, career, financial, spiritual. Set some long-term goals, then identify short-term goals that will lead to the completion of your long-term goal.
*In the morning, check your short-term goals and set ONE goal for the day. This should be a goal that is helping you to improve some area of your life – not a “things to do” or “errands to run” kind of goal. What is one thing that would make you feel as if you are making progress on one of your bigger goals?
*Do a “brain dump” of things you would like to do today. Some of these items may come to mind while you are exercising or writing your daily pages.
*Check your things to do list and set up your time in “blocks”. For instance:
commute/work – 7:15 a.m. – 4:15 p.m.
errands – 4:15 – 5:15 p.m.
dinner prep – 5:15 – 6 p.m.
dinner with family – 6 – 6:30 p.m.
homework and bedtime routine – 6:30 – 8:30 p.m.; etc.
*Spend a few minutes (at least 10) working on some project BESIDES your day job. For teachers, this might involve doing some small task related to National Board certification, working towards a master’s degree or other continuing education, developing a product for Teachers Pay Teachers or for an Etsy shop. 10 minutes a day keeps your momentum going towards a larger goal. (This could also be done at another time of the day.)
*Think about how you could send love out into the world — call or text someone to let them you know are thinking about them.
*When you are ready to shower, use good smelling products that make you happy!
*Try to leave enough time to shower/dress without feeling frazzled.
*Eat something for breakfast. OR save yourself some time and try intermittent fasting!
*If you have an Amazon Echo, consider using Alexa flash briefing to get weather and news highlights.
Here is how you might structure your SAVERS and other parts of your morning routine:
Wake up at 5 a.m.
Silence – 5 min.
Affirmations – 2 min.
Visualization – 3 min.
Exercise – 15 min.
Reading – 5 min.
Scribing – 15 min.
Schedule your day – 5 min.
Work on non-day job project – 10 min.
Shower & dress; prep for the day – 45 min.
Send love to the world (via text, email, quick note, phone call) – 5 min.
I hope that these tips have helped you think about how to structure your own morning routine! Email me at stillteachingstilllearning@gmail.com if you have any questions or if you need some encouragement!
When I think about the importance of building student relationships, I think back to my third year of teaching.
That year I had a student named “Garrison” (names have been changed to protect privacy). I did not like this boy. He was passive aggressive, refused to do any work, and just sat there and grinned at me as if to say, “You can’t make me do anything” (which was pretty much true). Somehow that got on my nerves more than if he had openly defied me. He had no interest in making friends, no interest in anything we studied, no interest in being at school. I was not used to seeing that in the fourth grade.
I also had to confront my own racism. Even though I didn’t think I was racist, I needed to examine myself to see if unconscious racist attitudes might be behind my resentment of Garrison’s refusal to do any work and the beginning of my not caring about him or what he did.
One day I was telling my dad (who was very ill at the time) about this boy and how I had no idea what to do with him and that I was just giving up on him as a student. I had decided that we would just make our way through the year together with him getting bad grades and me not caring. I was failing at teaching this child. My dad looked at me and said, “You only fail when you give up. Please don’t ever give up on a child.” Knowing my dad’s belief in the value of every human life, I decided to try something different.
I started setting aside time to talk to Garrison every day. Not to fuss, not to give him the list of assignments he needed to do — just to talk. (He was suspicious at first, but I persisted.)
I asked him about his family, I asked him about what he liked to do at home after school, I asked him if there were any sports teams or musicians or movie stars he especially liked.
Little by little, I learned a lot about Garrison and actually started thinking that he was a great kid who was misunderstood. I learned that his parents were divorced and that his dad lived in another state with his two older brothers. He had moved here with his younger brother and his mom, who had family in the area. I learned how much he missed his dad and his brothers.
One day, I was driving home from school when I noticed a kid on the sidewalk, walking toward me. I recognized the jacket. It was Garrison. I saw that he was walking along, carrying a grocery bag and holding the hand of a small child. I slowed the car, rolled down the window and called “hello” to Garrison.
The look on his face was priceless. I don’t know when I have seen a bigger smile on the face of a child. He grinned at me, waved, yelled, “Hi, Ms. Smith!”
We had a brief conversation — he introduced his baby brother (about two years old) and said they were on their way home from the grocery store and they were going to fix dinner before his mom got home. I said goodbye and heard him say, “Bye! See you tomorrow!”
I drove on, wondering what just happened? I was driving to pick up my 2-year-old daughter from daycare. A student that I taught was clearly in charge of a 2-year-old little brother. I knew that he had walked about a half mile to a small neighborhood grocery store, with that little brother, and was now walking home. I would cook dinner for my family when I got home. Garrison was apparently doing the same for his family.
Suddenly, I had what Stephen Covey called a “paradigm shift” in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I saw Garrison in a completely new light: a strong, capable young man.
So our conversations changed. We still talked about whatever he wanted to talk about, but I also started talking to him more about his strengths and encouraged him to use that strength for academic work. I kept telling him I was not giving up on him, that I believed in him, that I knew he was capable (probably to convince myself as much I was trying to convince him).
I wish I could say that all of this completely transformed Garrison and that he turned into a model student. That did not happen, but he DID start putting a lot more effort into his work, finishing assignments, asking for help and for feedback.
My father died that year, after a brief illness. I was devastated. My class wrote me sympathy notes, but the most meaningful, heartfelt one came from Garrison who said he understood missing your dad and that he was praying for me.
On the last day of school, Garrison cried as we said goodbye. I did not see him again. I heard that he moved to live with his dad again. I hope that it was a good move and that his life was better for it. I know that my teaching and the way I look at kids was changed forever because of Garrison.
Another paradigm shift story — a couple of years later, I had a student named “Danielle.” While she was a sweet, loving child, she rarely completed homework and did not often complete classwork. She had a severe case of learned helplessness and drove me crazy with her “neediness.”
We were going on a big field trip to the mountains of North Carolina. The trip was rather expensive. We were raising money for scholarships and had a pretty good “bank” of scholarship money.
I had also talked to my students about the expense of the trip and suggested that they do extra chores at home or for relatives so that they could earn part of their way toward the trip. To my delight, several students actually did do that.
We were a couple of weeks away from the trip and Danielle had not returned her permission slip or any money toward the trip. I knew that she had a difficult financial situation (she was being raised by an elderly grandmother who worked in a fast food restaurant), so we were prepared to give Danielle a full scholarship.
I spoke with Danielle privately about this and assured her that all she needed to do was to return the permission slip. She told me that she would have the money and would bring it on Monday (the deadline to pay). I was skeptical, so I told her again that the permission slip was all we needed. I also jotted a note to myself to call her grandmother and tell her the same information.
But on the Monday payment deadline, Danielle arrived at school with a big smile on her face. She pulled out a bag of crumpled dollar bills and the signed permission slip. She was paying for the trip in full. She then proudly reminded me that I had told the kids to find a way to earn some money for the trip. Her uncle had a part-time job sweeping out movie theaters on Saturdays and Sundays. For the past three weeks, she had been getting up early to go with him to help and he gave her part of the money they earned. She had earned every dollar for that trip.
I was stunned. I remember that I could not even speak. All I could do was give her a big hug. She was so proud of herself, but not half as proud as I was.
I don’t think I need to tell you that, of all my students, Danielle enjoyed the trip the most. She had “skin in the game,” so to speak.
After that experience, I took a different approach to the learned helplessness. I had private conversations with Danielle to let her know how smart and strong and capable she was, and that I wanted her to apply that to her work and give it a try before asking for help. She did. She made great strides in reading that year, finishing the year at just slightly below grade level. But her math skills took a huge jump and she ended the year on solid grade level.
NEVER doubt what your students can do. And use everything you learn about them to remind them of just how strong and smart and capable they really are.
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