When we make lists of things we want to do to improve our lives (similar to making New Year’s Resolutions), we have these big worthy goals. Like this:
*lose 20 lbs.
*run a marathon
*pay off credit card debt
*organize every closet and cabinet in my house
*fix our bedtime routine
*clean out the attic
*plan healthy menus for a whole year
There is nothing wrong with setting these big goals. All of them seem important. All of them may even need to be done. However, when we set out to change everything at once, it rarely works. We get overwhelmed either by the number of tasks we need to do or by the difficulty of incorporating all the new changes. So we end up falling back to our old comfort zone and feeling worse about ourselves and our inability to meet goals.
There are a couple of things I have done wrong with this process, and I wonder if the same is true of you:
1 – I tried to change too many things at once.
2 – I tried to make big changes in one area all at once.
But what if we focus on making small changes? What if we work on achieving just ONE goal at a time? And what if we did something small toward that one goal every single day? Something super small and do-able? Would we still meet the goal? Yes, it might take longer, but when you look back at your progress it won’t seem as if it took so long after all.
Three books have really shaped my thinking about this idea: The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, Atomic Habits by James Clear, and The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.
In this post, I’m going to share some of my takeaways about making small changes from Mel Robbins’ book. In my next posts, I will focus on the other two books.
THE 5 SECOND RULE by Mel Robbins
*The basic idea, according to Mel, is this:
“The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.”
”Pushing yourself to take simple actions creates a chain reaction in your confidence and your productivity.”
Doing just one small, simple act toward your ultimate goal keeps you moving forward in a positive way. Exercising for just five minutes doesn’t appear to make any difference in your ultimate goal of getting in shape. But exercising for five minutes, every single day, helps you start seeing yourself as someone who works out. Before long, you’ll be increasing your time and doing more to move yourself toward your goal of getting in shape.
”. . . it’s not the big moves that define our lives; it’s the smallest ones.”
*Using the 5-second rule and doing those small actions every day (or hour or week) builds your courage and your belief in yourself. It changes how you see yourself, which changes so many actions. Waiting until everything is perfect or until you have the perfect plan or until WHATEVER just keeps you from getting where you want to go and it might even make your situation worse.
”You can feel uncertain and be ready. You can be afraid and do it anyway. You can fear rejection and still go for it.”
*Separate your feelings (which you can’t always control) from your actions (which you can control). In other words, even if you don’t feel like having that tough conversation, going for a run, tackling the toughest task on your to-do list — 5-4-3-2-1, go.
*Confidence comes from taking action. What you do changes your perception of who you are. You have to actually do something, even something small, if you want to change your life.
*Start using the 5-Second Rule by setting your alarm and putting it across the room or in your bathroom. Then, when that alarm goes off in the morning, 5-4-3-2-1, hop out of bed and turn the alarm off. No snooze button, no going back to bed.
*Every single diet, exercise program, meditation program, any kind of program will improve your health. But you have to actually do it, not just think about it. Remember that your feelings don’t matter. What matters is what you actually DO.
*Make a promise to yourself that you will do something (whatever it is you are trying to implement), and then never break that promise.
*Productivity depends on focus — the ability to manage distractions so you can focus on the task at hand and focusing on what matters most for you to do so that you don’t waste time watching cat videos on youtube.
*Decide that distractions are not good. Then remove them. Close the browser tabs. Turn your phone screen side down. Put headphones on or earbuds in and block out noise. Go to another location where you can focus on what you need to do.
*Here is Mel’s daily routine:
~Get up when the alarm rings
~Walk to the bathroom (where she keeps her phone) & turn off the alarm
~Brush teeth, wash face & think about one to three things that she MUST do today to move closer to her goal
~Get ready for the day & get coffee
~Write those one to three MUST DO tasks down and why they are important
~Plan the day
~”30 before 7:30” – start working on those MUST DO before you even leave for your day job. Schedule time to come back to whatever MUST DO needs to also be worked on later.
~Plan your “quitting time”. What time will you wrap up your day job and come home to your time by yourself or with your family?
(By the way — Mel also has the 5-Second Journal which guides you through this morning process and also serves as a planner. Check it out!)
*How to use the 5-second rule to beat procrastination: Use it to make yourself start, but start very small. Do something for 5-15 minutes, then take a break. Do that over and over until the task is done.
Remember that these are just my notes and what has been helpful for me. There is a ton of other helpful information in Mel’s book, which I highly recommend. Let me know what you think of her book and what is helpful for you!