“I did not get anything done that I needed to do.”
“Everything feels like it’s falling apart.”
“I’m not doing a great job at the things I usually do well.”
If you’ve ever had a day where you have had any of these thoughts, then you know what feeling like a failure means.
I had one of those days yesterday.
From the time I got to school until the time I went to bed, it seemed as if everything I usually do well was either not going well or not getting done at all. When that happens, all the self-doubt starts kicking in and I start thinking of all the other things (which are not even priorities right now) are also not getting done! So it’s just a gigantic spiral that doesn’t feel good.
However . . . I have had these moments (or days) before, and I knew what I could do to get myself out of this spiral.
Here are 11 tips that help me.
1 – Take a nap. Or make plans to go to bed earlier. Like a lot earlier than normal. If I had time yesterday, I would have taken a nap. But I got home later than usual and a nap would not have been a good idea since it would interfere with my bedtime sleep. So I made the decision to go to bed one hour earlier than usual. Getting more sleep helped. A lot.
2 – Stay hydrated. I drank more water and had two soothing cups of tea in the evening. Drinking something warm seems to be especially comforting for me.
3 – Do this one yoga pose – legs up the wall. I don’t know what it is about this pose, but it works wonders for me. Just scoot yourself close to a wall or tall, sturdy piece of furniture. Lie down and prop your legs against the wall. Then scoot your bottom closer to the wall or furniture so that you are at near 90-degree angle. Close your eyes and relax. This pose almost magically resets my day or evening!
4 – Spend a few minutes in silence. I usually pray first, leaving everything with God and asking for strength and for guidance. Then I meditate for five to ten minutes, quieting my mind and just listening.
5 – Change your perspective by going to a different setting. In my case, since the school was a stressor for me yesterday, I left and came home. If home tasks are a stressor but you need to focus on some work, it might help to go to a public library or to a cafe or coffee shop.
6 – While you’re changing your perspective, change your thought pattern. Bonus points for doing this in writing. Instead of saying, “I’ll never get it all done”, write “I’ll get everything done by doing one thing at a time.” Instead of saying, “I’m a failure.”, write “I am a successful, productive, amazing ______” (fill in the blank what whatever role is making you feel like a failure). Instead of saying, “Everything is falling apart”, write “I am identifying what is not going well and moving forward to make things better.”
7 – Use a post-it note to make a list of five things you can be grateful for and five things that went well today, despite all that went wrong.
8 – Complete one important task. In this case, I needed to finish grading some math tests (which take forever to grade). When I finished that task, I did one more. That’s all. Just one or two important tasks.
9 – I then made a list of the other important tasks that I will get done in the next few days. After I made the list, I prioritized the top two tasks to be done with a star. I will start there tomorrow.
10 – Read a “pep talk” book. My current favorites include Girl, Wash Your Face, You Are a Badass, Practical Perfection, Girl, Stop Apologizing, You Are a Badass Every Day, G’morning, G’night! Little Pep Talks for Me and You, and Daring Greatly.
11 – Take a bath or a shower. Put on comfy clothes or comfy pajamas. Do this right before going to bed.
Now get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day.
